Dotfaspitfebstraggatcut is a god.

He takes the form of a large, smart zebra.

Dotfaspitfebstraggatcut created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotfaspitfebstraggatcut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dotfaspitfebstraggatcut, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dotfaspitfebstraggatcut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dotfaspitfebstraggatcut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never sing near mites.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Dotfaspitfebstraggatcut.

5. Never eat nuts.