Hivbellhas is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, merciless dragon.

Hivbellhas created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivbellhas, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hivbellhas, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hivbellhas' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hivbellhas' Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Never talk about tapirs.