Nuttxemsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, almighty whale.

Nuttxemsaf created the Virgo Supercluster two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttxemsaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nuttxemsaf, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nuttxemsaf's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Nuttxemsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Never feed grapes to capybaras while wearing magenta corsets.

5. Never eat bark.