Tikkem Higrutsinbid is a god.

He takes the form of a large, boastful newt.

Tikkem Higrutsinbid created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikkem Higrutsinbid, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tikkem Higrutsinbid, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tikkem Higrutsinbid's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tikkem Higrutsinbid's Holy Commandments

1. Tikkem Higrutsinbid loves eagles, so they must be respected.

2. Always obey Tikkem Higrutsinbid's priests.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Never think ill of sick tortoises.