Quimveenstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, overgenerous toad.

Quimveenstrag created the Cigar Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimveenstrag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimveenstrag, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quimveenstrag's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Quimveenstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat bats with great respect.

2. You must love Quimveenstrag.

3. Do not speak about rice.

4. Always obey Quimveenstrag's priests.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.