Vanquamtof Dintomcuss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, wise duck.

Vanquamtof Dintomcuss created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanquamtof Dintomcuss, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vanquamtof Dintomcuss, he will turn you into a rock.

Vanquamtof Dintomcuss' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Vanquamtof Dintomcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vanquamtof Dintomcuss.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.