Ripbiffid is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless bat.

Ripbiffid created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ripbiffid, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ripbiffid, it will not care.

Ripbiffid's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Ripbiffid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.