Bemrip is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bemrip created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemrip, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bemrip, it will torture you forever.

Bemrip's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bemrip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

2. Never mention goats.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.