Ranfobtof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, loving owl.

Ranfobtof created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ranfobtof, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ranfobtof, she will turn you into a frog.

Ranfobtof's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Ranfobtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ranfobtof's name in vain.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from white badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.