Motlatpid is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, witty cat.

Motlatpid created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motlatpid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Motlatpid, it will remove you from existence.

Motlatpid's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Motlatpid's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.