Padduss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, thoughtless crab.

Padduss created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Padduss, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Padduss, he will send you a sign.

Padduss' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Padduss' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Always help whales in need.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about cell theory.