Linvenbast is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, quiet tapir.

Linvenbast created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linvenbast, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Linvenbast, he will turn you into a mouse.

Linvenbast's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Linvenbast's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Linvenbast must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Feed all hungry monkeys.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always look after injured mites.