Queegbarngid is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered cobra.

Queegbarngid created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queegbarngid, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Queegbarngid, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Queegbarngid's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Queegbarngid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Queegbarngid loves doves, so they must be respected.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Never bounce near turtles.