Maphighad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, dishonest tortoise.

Maphighad created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Maphighad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Maphighad, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Maphighad's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Maphighad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back turquoise.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not dye your hair black.