Podkonhot Nutyatpag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, generous dryad.

Podkonhot Nutyatpag created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Podkonhot Nutyatpag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Podkonhot Nutyatpag, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Podkonhot Nutyatpag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Podkonhot Nutyatpag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick frogs.

2. Podkonhot Nutyatpag loves rats, so they must be respected.

3. Do not speak about limes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never look in ponds.