Nullwatren is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, generous dolphin.

Nullwatren created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nullwatren, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nullwatren, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nullwatren's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nullwatren's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nullwatren four times a day.

2. Do not take Nullwatren's name in vain.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nullwatren.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.