Motdimciss is a god.

It takes the form of a large, egotistical walrus.

Motdimciss created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motdimciss, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Motdimciss, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Motdimciss' most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Motdimciss' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Motdimciss.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

4. Run away if eight eagles approach from the south.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.