Yartcutcebhin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awesome salamander.

Yartcutcebhin created silver nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yartcutcebhin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yartcutcebhin, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yartcutcebhin's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yartcutcebhin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about beans.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.