Ratladcad is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, impressive narwhal.

Ratladcad created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ratladcad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ratladcad, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Ratladcad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ratladcad's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never laugh near dolphins.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not kill porpoises.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.