Rutlarpminmum is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody newt.

Rutlarpminmum created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutlarpminmum, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rutlarpminmum, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Rutlarpminmum's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Rutlarpminmum's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Erect five silicon sculptures of Rutlarpminmum on top of important buildings.

5. Run away if four swans approach from the south.