Dapquamsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain coyote.

Dapquamsaw created the Sunflower Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapquamsaw, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dapquamsaw, it will turn you into a tree.

Dapquamsaw's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Dapquamsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Dapquamsaw on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Do not take Dapquamsaw's name in vain.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.