Ranmitkab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-powerful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ranmitkab created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranmitkab, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ranmitkab, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Ranmitkab's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Ranmitkab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.