Yakpagkan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, able yak.

Yakpagkan created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakpagkan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yakpagkan, she will come to you in dreams.

Yakpagkan's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Yakpagkan's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Yakpagkan.

2. Great tits are not to be trusted.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Yakpagkan.

5. Never play with disobedient children.