Zenlapbadjab is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witty gorilla.

Zenlapbadjab created humanity two years ago.

If you believe in Zenlapbadjab, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zenlapbadjab, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zenlapbadjab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Zenlapbadjab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Erect three titanium sculptures of Zenlapbadjab on top of important buildings.

3. Run away if five frogs approach from the north.

4. Zenlapbadjab loves seals, so they must be respected.

5. Do not shave your legs.