Gatnarlfob is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, conceited walrus.

Gatnarlfob created the Black Eye Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatnarlfob, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gatnarlfob, she will turn you into a puffin.

Gatnarlfob's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gatnarlfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Always help turtles in need.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.