Cenfemmet is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, capable gnu.

Cenfemmet created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cenfemmet, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cenfemmet, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cenfemmet's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Cenfemmet's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four goats approach from the north.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cenfemmet.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.