Betarnzog is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, awesome dragon.

Betarnzog created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betarnzog, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Betarnzog, it will turn you into a dog.

Betarnzog's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Betarnzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Do not take Betarnzog's name in vain.

3. Never skip near mice.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.