Parkpibsag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, kind narwhal.

Parkpibsag created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkpibsag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Parkpibsag, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Parkpibsag's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Parkpibsag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Never hurt hamsters.

5. Always take life seriously.