Vonkcadarp Jenmipfot is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, deceitful toad.

Vonkcadarp Jenmipfot created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcadarp Jenmipfot, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vonkcadarp Jenmipfot, he will not invite you to parties.

Vonkcadarp Jenmipfot's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Vonkcadarp Jenmipfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vonkcadarp Jenmipfot.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Respect your elders.