Sitbasslim is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, witless slug.

Sitbasslim created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitbasslim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitbasslim, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sitbasslim's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Sitbasslim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never mention cats.

3. Worship no other gods but Sitbasslim.

4. Hide from black nematodes for they are unholy.

5. Do not commit murder.