Carnathat is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, astonishing swallow.

Carnathat created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Carnathat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Carnathat, he will turn you into a snail.

Carnathat's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Carnathat's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Carnathat.

2. Never wear green trousers.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Feed all hungry pigs.

5. Never skip near aardvarks.