Gemflatjigsakyokgetcanlarn Kabjarnquam is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy bear.

Gemflatjigsakyokgetcanlarn Kabjarnquam created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemflatjigsakyokgetcanlarn Kabjarnquam, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gemflatjigsakyokgetcanlarn Kabjarnquam, he will not care at all.

Gemflatjigsakyokgetcanlarn Kabjarnquam's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Gemflatjigsakyokgetcanlarn Kabjarnquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.