Quamsatapp Hanmutquaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, happy jaguar.

Quamsatapp Hanmutquaf created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamsatapp Hanmutquaf, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quamsatapp Hanmutquaf, she will turn you into a sheep.

Quamsatapp Hanmutquaf's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Quamsatapp Hanmutquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quamsatapp Hanmutquaf.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Do not take Quamsatapp Hanmutquaf's name in vain.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.