Limyarzod is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, flying guinea pig.

Limyarzod created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Limyarzod, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Limyarzod, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Limyarzod's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Limyarzod's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Never eat bark.