Mababtab is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, proud seal.

Mababtab created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mababtab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mababtab, it will make you grow a tail.

Mababtab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Mababtab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not kill sheep.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.