Bemrenwod is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, merciful zebra.

Bemrenwod created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemrenwod, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bemrenwod, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bemrenwod's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bemrenwod's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never feed oranges to dolphins while wearing magenta stockings.

3. Run away if seven monkeys approach from the east.

4. Never sing in the presence of bats.

5. Do not dye your hair red.