Cebgumvinget Hadjaphas is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unfair wolf.

Cebgumvinget Hadjaphas created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebgumvinget Hadjaphas, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cebgumvinget Hadjaphas, she will make you grow a tail.

Cebgumvinget Hadjaphas' most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Cebgumvinget Hadjaphas' Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Never bounce near gulls.

5. Always pray immersed in water.