Gomzedkom is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, astonishing warg.

Gomzedkom created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomzedkom, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gomzedkom, it will think nothing of it.

Gomzedkom's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gomzedkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away from blue hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear magenta hats.

5. Always treat monkeys with great respect.