Jadbinleg is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic octopus.

Jadbinleg created the planet Venus eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadbinleg, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jadbinleg, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jadbinleg's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jadbinleg's Holy Commandments

1. Put Jadbinleg first in all things.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never paint your chest brown.

5. Never write about comets.