Weelunvab Wodgebmon Cadyoghan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, kind hyena.

Weelunvab Wodgebmon Cadyoghan created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Weelunvab Wodgebmon Cadyoghan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Weelunvab Wodgebmon Cadyoghan, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Weelunvab Wodgebmon Cadyoghan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Weelunvab Wodgebmon Cadyoghan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Weelunvab Wodgebmon Cadyoghan on top of all buildings.

4. Always obey Weelunvab Wodgebmon Cadyoghan's priests.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.