Yam is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, clever lizard.

Yam created the Andromeda Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yam, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Yam's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not speak about parsnips.