Citvigfet is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate hedgehog.

Citvigfet created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citvigfet, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Citvigfet, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Citvigfet's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Citvigfet's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Run away from gray dogs, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear cyan shirts.

5. Do not listen to music.