Sawmegzed is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, caring spider.

Sawmegzed created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawmegzed, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sawmegzed, she will turn you into a mouse.

Sawmegzed's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Sawmegzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Always help sick gulls.

3. Never feed strawberries to squirrels while wearing cyan shorts.

4. You must pray to Sawmegzed eight times a day.

5. Never write about gravity.