Monjipfem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, awe-inspiring parrot.

Monjipfem created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Monjipfem, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Monjipfem, he will torture you forever.

Monjipfem's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Monjipfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Do not take Monjipfem's name in vain.