Farfudtip Ruttwik is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited dog.

Farfudtip Ruttwik created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Farfudtip Ruttwik, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Farfudtip Ruttwik, it will turn you into a frog.

Farfudtip Ruttwik's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Farfudtip Ruttwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt birds.

2. Run away from violet snails, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always obey Farfudtip Ruttwik's priests.

5. You must never eat pineapples.