Gepsigwadhinbat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, happy monkey.

Gepsigwadhinbat created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Gepsigwadhinbat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gepsigwadhinbat, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gepsigwadhinbat's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gepsigwadhinbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to ducks while wearing gray kilts.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Feed all hungry cats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.