Nadmidjan Bamjopzimcen is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, all-knowing crow.

Nadmidjan Bamjopzimcen created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nadmidjan Bamjopzimcen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nadmidjan Bamjopzimcen, he will cry a lot.

Nadmidjan Bamjopzimcen's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nadmidjan Bamjopzimcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick pigs.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nadmidjan Bamjopzimcen.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.