Rat is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, conceited cow.

Rat created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rat, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rat, it will manifest in front of you.

Rat's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Rat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Run away from mauve horses, for they are unholy.

3. Never feed onions to monkeys while wearing brown dresses.

4. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.