Kemlargfit is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, moody bear.

Kemlargfit created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemlargfit, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kemlargfit, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kemlargfit's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Kemlargfit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three tortoises approach from the south.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.