Omtflattonk is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, idiotic faun.

Omtflattonk created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtflattonk, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Omtflattonk, she will turn you into a slug.

Omtflattonk's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Omtflattonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Omtflattonk on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Respect your elders.

5. You must never eat coconuts.